doranosaurus (![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} doranosaurus) wrote,@ 2005-10-09 08:52:00 |
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Starting work tomorrow.
The following is the kind of entry everyone says they don't want to read. The one's about, "Today I went shopping, then I had lunch, then the bus driver was a jerk..." etc. Well too bad.
Today I went shopping! I bought a few dress shirts and a nice tie at Nordsrom's Rack. That's like the factory outlet for the Nordstom chain, in case it's just a local thing. I found out that my shirt size is 15 1/2 neck and 31 arm according to the dude with the tape measure. Too many dress shirts are cut way too loose for the average slim guy (ASG), such as myself. I guess they cut 'em that way so fatsos can wear the shirts but for the ASG it makes for a poofy shirt with too much fabric to tuck neatly into the slacks. I know this cuz after I asked the sales clerk if there were some slim fit brands he could recommend for me, I heard another ASG ask the same exact question not 2 minutes later! Stupid obese people, making it so shirts don't fit the ASG! Fat people must die! (Just kidding!)
Ok, now I'm going to complain about shaving. I HATE, HATE, HATE shaving once a day. And by the way, I also HATE shaving once a day. It's soooo uncomfortable. Even with all the nurturing preparation in a steamy shower using expensive shaving products in sophisticated, urban packaging. It's uncomfortable to do it, and uncomfortable for the rest of the day. It makes my bike helmet strap uncomfortable too. And anything that impedes my bike riding bliss makes me an unhappy camper!
I have very dense, dark facial hair which makes matters worse. If I were rich, I wold totally get the folicles lasered into oblivion. If that even works. I don't mind it so much if I can go 3 or 4 days to allow the hair and a layer of protective skin to grow back. The resulting shave is close and relatively comfortable. But shaving every day is like scraping a razor-sharp steel blade across your most sensitive skin parts that have not had a chance to recover from the last time they were scraped raw. It's an aweful LOT like that! It feels like picking a scab repeatedly and never having a chance to heal.
So much about being an average office dude is a mystery to me, but resistance is futile. Dress shirts, ironing, shaving, dress shoes. I never wanted to be this. I wanted to be an artist with 5 days stubble and a faded black t-shirt accented paint splatters.
The following is the kind of entry everyone says they don't want to read. The one's about, "Today I went shopping, then I had lunch, then the bus driver was a jerk..." etc. Well too bad.
Today I went shopping! I bought a few dress shirts and a nice tie at Nordsrom's Rack. That's like the factory outlet for the Nordstom chain, in case it's just a local thing. I found out that my shirt size is 15 1/2 neck and 31 arm according to the dude with the tape measure. Too many dress shirts are cut way too loose for the average slim guy (ASG), such as myself. I guess they cut 'em that way so fatsos can wear the shirts but for the ASG it makes for a poofy shirt with too much fabric to tuck neatly into the slacks. I know this cuz after I asked the sales clerk if there were some slim fit brands he could recommend for me, I heard another ASG ask the same exact question not 2 minutes later! Stupid obese people, making it so shirts don't fit the ASG! Fat people must die! (Just kidding!)
Ok, now I'm going to complain about shaving. I HATE, HATE, HATE shaving once a day. And by the way, I also HATE shaving once a day. It's soooo uncomfortable. Even with all the nurturing preparation in a steamy shower using expensive shaving products in sophisticated, urban packaging. It's uncomfortable to do it, and uncomfortable for the rest of the day. It makes my bike helmet strap uncomfortable too. And anything that impedes my bike riding bliss makes me an unhappy camper!
I have very dense, dark facial hair which makes matters worse. If I were rich, I wold totally get the folicles lasered into oblivion. If that even works. I don't mind it so much if I can go 3 or 4 days to allow the hair and a layer of protective skin to grow back. The resulting shave is close and relatively comfortable. But shaving every day is like scraping a razor-sharp steel blade across your most sensitive skin parts that have not had a chance to recover from the last time they were scraped raw. It's an aweful LOT like that! It feels like picking a scab repeatedly and never having a chance to heal.
So much about being an average office dude is a mystery to me, but resistance is futile. Dress shirts, ironing, shaving, dress shoes. I never wanted to be this. I wanted to be an artist with 5 days stubble and a faded black t-shirt accented paint splatters.
