doranosaurus: First day of orientation

doranosaurus (

doranosaurus) wrote,
@ 2005-10-10 06:01:00

First day of orientation
I was chatting with this girl who I befriended because she was one of the few new employees who's job was not more prestigious than my own. Her short stature and white-trash clothing made me feel more at ease. My low self-esteem draws me to others of a similar bent, I guess.

She mentioned the earthquake in Pakistan. I said, "Yeah, it seems like there's a new natural disaster every week!" I was happy to be having a pleasant conversation, not feeling the intense anxiety around her that I feel around the men and women with higher-paying jobs and better haircuts who were cold to me.

Then she said, "Do you believe in Christ?"

"No," I said, nervous but emphatic.

"Well, all these disasters kind of make you think! I believe it's part of the prophesy of the end times."

ARRG!! You've got to be kidding me! First of all, how is that even a remotely appropriate comment in a professional environment? With such a lack of understanding of prevailing workplace conversational boundaries, it's no wonder she hasn't advanced to an administrative level. Second of all, WTF? Why did I gravitate towards the Jesus freak of the class? The people I actually feel comfortable around always turn out to be freaks of one kind or another. I guess I'm still the socially incompetent dork I was in grade school. Well, that's not news to me. This just reinforces it.

Then I was so flustered by her comment, that I failed to recognize my new direct supervisor; the woman who I interviewed with and who hired me! I saw the woman waving at me while I was walking back to orientation class with Jesus Girl and I thought, "Gee that woman looks familiar, where do I know her from?" But it wasn't until I was well past her that I realized who she was. I smiled at her, but in that way you smile when you don't really know why your being smiled at. After a minute I even walked back towards her thinking I'd make some conversation. I stopped and spied on her from afar. She looked busy with two other supervisor-types and I was too scared to go up to her. Yes, I really do have social anxiety and it adversely affects my personal and professional life in concrete ways. My first social faux pas and I haven't even started working yet!

(39 comments) - (Post a new comment)

	stormodacentury 2005-10-11 01:42 am UTC (link)
	Ouch. But first days always suck, right? (Reply to this) (Thread)

	doranosaurus 2005-10-11 01:56 am UTC (link)
	You're first day was worse than mine! (Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

	stormodacentury 2005-10-11 09:56 am UTC (link)
	I dunno, I didn't have anyone trying to convert me, though... (Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

	welfy 2005-10-12 05:09 am UTC (link)
	I shoulda tried that time I met you, but I was too busy developing a crush on your truck-driving trainer. :^P (Reply to this) (Parent)

welfy
2005-10-11 02:03 am UTC (link)

Aw, don't be scared off by Jesus girl. She probably didn't know she was freaking you out. Just like that pastor guy asked me to pray out loud and thought nothing of it but my social nervousness made me uncomfortable and upset at him. Funny how some people assume things...like the lady training me assumed that since I am a Christian, I listen to nothing but Christian music. (Haha. Haha! Hahahahahah! Boy is she wrong.)

I let people know I'm a Christian in indirect ways (off-handedly mention choir or church) but I don't ask people if they believe in God or Jesus. Not mah style. And who's to say what causes all these natural disasters anyway? If you run into her again, just try to steer the conversation into a safe zone. That's what I do.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

doranosaurus
2005-10-11 02:22 am UTC (link)

Dood, making a blatant religous comment in a church is tooooootally different than doing it in any other workplace! Perhaps you are not aware, having not worked in many other envorinments but it is very inappropriate ask someone their religion in the workplace. In fact it's illegal if it is asked by someone who holds power over your employment. It's illegal to discriminate based on religion so a supervisor, administrator, HR rep, etc would get in trouble for asking such a question. Combine that with the fact that Seattle is one of the more secular places in the country. I assume it's more common to discuss Christianity in the bible belt though.

She was young and apparently unaware, or perhaps Jesus was just busting out in her heart and she felt no desire to withhold her joy regardless of the consequences.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

welfy
2005-10-11 02:33 am UTC (link)

Oh, I'm aware, I just don't experience it very much. The places where I've worked, it's assumed I'm Christian so the subject isn't brought up very much. And I'm not in the habit to ask people their religious beliefs anyway. I figure if they felt like bringing it up, they can do it on their own terms.

I feel like a bit of a rebel though. My church is picketing an adult bookstore. I choose to just vaguely nod about it because it's the same place where an old boyfriend bought me a vibe. :^P Ooh yeah.

People with Jesus busting out of their heart kinda scare me.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

	doranosaurus 2005-10-12 04:29 am UTC (link)
	You are my kind of Christian. :) (Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

	welfy 2005-10-12 05:14 am UTC (link)
	Christians have sex drives, too! (Reply to this) (Parent)

	helianthas 2005-10-11 03:13 pm UTC (link)
	I'm Jewish and worked at Catholic Charities. Our Exec director was gay. (but catholic.) We had "opening prayer" before meetings but was led by someone different each time and we could read jokes off the internet, which I liked. Some people read the bible, which I didn't. This comment has no point. (Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

	welfy 2005-10-12 05:11 am UTC (link)
	My church choir director reads jokes from the internet, too. It must be a trend. Too bad they're all jokes I heard like 5-6 years ago, but at least everyone else thinks they're funny since they're all older and don't know about mass forwarding of jokes and whatnot. (Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

	doranosaurus 2005-10-12 05:43 am UTC (link)
	Beware of polite Nigerians offering you money on email. It's a totally new form of spam! (Reply to this) (Parent)

	astralweeks 2005-10-11 02:04 am UTC (link)
	I do things like that all the time - I am forever jamming my proverbial foot in my proverbial mouth. As for the Jesus Freak... well, I used to be one, so I'll just smile & nod now... (Reply to this) (Thread)

	doranosaurus 2005-10-11 02:13 am UTC (link)
	I was startled by hearing the question at work that I would only expect from a Jahovah's witness on my doorstep. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	iceofpoetry 2005-10-11 02:54 am UTC (link)
	Yor journal is my life, scary! (Reply to this) (Thread)

	doranosaurus 2005-10-12 04:27 am UTC (link)
	It's my life too. That IS scary! Are we the same person like in Fight Club? ooh! (Reply to this) (Parent)

	doranosaurus 2005-10-12 05:46 am UTC (link)
	In what way are they similar? (Reply to this) (Parent)

janezanaddict
2005-10-11 03:20 am UTC (link)

The Jesus freaks are everywhere. I mean, I believe in Jesus...but I would not blame the weather on him, you know? I personally blame the weather on what we are doing to the earth. Here's an upside, if you have to work around her, maybe you can be the one to open her mind a bit. And I wouldn't worry about not recognizing the lady who hired you, that's normal. Trust me, you'll be knowing ALL of their faces before too long!

(Reply to this) (Thread)

	doranosaurus 2005-10-11 01:50 pm UTC (link)
	Yes, I know Jesus freaks are everywhere but fortunately they are less prevalent in Seattle than elsewhere. Thus it was all the more surprising to be confronted by one in the workplace. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	kejn 2005-10-11 05:48 am UTC (link)
	how many were you at this orientation? what did you learn? did you eat lunch together? what's the rest of the week going to be like? i am very curious! :-) ha ha, jesus girl propably went "geez, that was highly improper of me! now he will think i'm a stupid jesus freak. why did i say that?" later, when she started over-analyzing the stressful day she had behind her. :-) (Reply to this) (Thread)

doranosaurus
2005-10-11 02:07 pm UTC (link)

No, I really don't think she thought that. I think she was one of those people with jesus busting out of her heart and wanted the world to know it regardless of who or where it was.

how many were you at this orientation? About 50 people. This medical center (including outside campuses, reasearch facility, faculty, etc) employs 7000 people (!) so every two weeks they have an general orientation class for all new employees with about the same number of attendees.

what did you learn? I learned that I like staring at shapely hips of the nurses sitting in front of me. That's about it...Oh yeah, and I also learned about fire safety, airborne infection control, the employee health department, the mission statement, stuff like that.

did you eat lunch together? We were dismissed to our own devices for lunch. Most people went to the cafetaria. I sat down across from a classmate and said hi but she was cold to me and engrossed in her novel. Which I guess was fine since I wouldn't have been successful in conversation anyway. I'm sorry I'm being pessemistic. I did feel comfortable with the Occupational Therapist sitting next to me in class. And had an ok conversation with one of the other PSR's, an with the Jesus Girl until she outed herself to me.

what's the rest of the week going to be like? The first day was as I described, today will be more of the same. Tomorrow and thursday will be CPR and general computer system orientation. Then Monday, I'll be starting on my unit with job specific training.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

	takenbutterfly 2005-10-11 03:20 pm UTC (link)
	Wow,you're an asshole thinking your superior to people. Yeah, low self esteem my ass. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	doranosaurus 2005-10-12 04:22 am UTC (link)
	Where did I sy I was superior to people? (Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

	takenbutterfly 2005-10-15 08:56 pm UTC (link)
	It's your general tone. (Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

	doranosaurus 2005-10-15 11:36 pm UTC (link)
	Ok, I'm an asshole. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	octoberust 2005-10-11 04:01 pm UTC (link)
	Do you believe in Christ? LOL Wow, sorry there, guy. I would have been extremely offended no doubt! Wow. Work place ignorance indeed. Sheesh. I like how you describe the higher ups as these studied subjects, creatures of the unknown, untouchable almost. Specimens. I am sure you will ease into your work place socially in no time at all! (Reply to this) (Thread)

	doranosaurus 2005-10-12 04:20 am UTC (link)
	Yeah, I tend to feel 'apart' from people so I analyze them as a curiousity. I can't relate to them as I should be able to. I don't socialize very well, but I'll try my best. (Reply to this) (Parent)

complainey_sez
2005-10-11 04:51 pm UTC (link)

can i tell you something that really bothers me? when people get labeled a "jesus freak" if they simply mention that they believe in god and that with all the disasters they happen to mention that as a theory about why it could be happening. you have to admit there have been a lot lately and obviously people are going to think about theories and work it over in their heads. i don't understand how it's any different that you labeling her as a "jesus freak" is more professional than her mentioning something to you that happens to be religious in tone. i mean, it's people like you who have the fucking pledge of allegance thrown out of schools cos "oooh it might offend people who don't believe in god." well, i was athiest when i was younger and i didn't give a fuck if people prayed over their food in school before they ate it. you know why? cos no one was making me do it. it's your choice how you read into thigns like that. if you wanna make everythign a big deal go for it. but doesn't it get tiring being mad or upset about everything? it must be exhausting being you.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

	bonanzajelybean 2005-10-11 11:57 pm UTC (link)
	i think this is exactly why us North Americans (or maybe just us Canadians...) tend to follow the unofficial Official Rule of Three when it comes to casual conversation: no religion, no money, no politics. Because of extreme reactions and whatnot. You know what I'm talkin' about... (Reply to this) (Parent)

doranosaurus
2005-10-12 04:10 am UTC (link)

"...mention that they believe in god..."
The problem was she did not mention her belifs, she asked me mine. This is a big no-no in the work place since it's illegal to discriminate based on religion as it is with gender, sexual orientation, race, etc. She put me in an awkward position because of that law.

it's your choice how you read into things like that.
I didn't read into it, I am just commenting on how inappropriate it is in a work place setting. Today we were give a full day's training about compliance with the law regarding diversity. We were told it was illegal to make assumptions about religion, cultural differences etc and that it was a big no-no to put our beliefs on others and downright illegal in some cases. I hope she got the message that a question like that should be left out of the workplace.

if you wanna make everything a big deal go for it,
I didn't make a big deal out of her comment at the time. I'm just relaying a funny incident in my journal. I didn't even respond to her at all about it beyond saying, "No" when she asked if I belive in Christ. And another thing, asking if I believe in "Christ" is even more inappropriate than asking if I am religious since it's pidgeon-holing me based on a particular religion. In the work place it's just as inappropriate as asking if I was gay. Don't you think asking if I was gay would be an inappropriate question in the work place?

you have to admit there have been a lot lately and obviously people are going to think about theories and work it over in their heads.
I agree, it's fine to think about theories. I personally disagreed with her theory but I was respectful.

My belief system does not fit with the model that a higher power punishes people by unleashing disasters. For one thing, it's not logical even if one does believe in a vengeful God. There are not more natural events than in the past, there are just more people to get killed by them. There have been hurricanes and earthquakes since time began but the only reason it's considered a disaster is when people happen to live in the location of the event. In other words, this isn't the first time there was a major hurricane in the gulf coast, but only in the last 200 years has there been a concentration of humans there. This says to me that disasters are random and not God punishing the people who live in a particular area. And what kind of religious message is God sending when He/she randomly kills people, Christians and non-Christians, repentant and non-repentant? But I understand that if you believe in the Christian God, when he does random horrible crap to people you just have to have faith that it's all part of His plan.

you labeling her as a "jesus freak" is more professional than her mentioning something to you that happens to be religious in tone.
I was fully respectful of her in our interaction. I called her a Jesus Freak in my personal journal which is totally different than in the work place.

it's people like you who have the fucking pledge of allegance thrown out of schools cos "oooh it might offend people who don't believe in god." well, i was athiest when i was younger and i didn't give a fuck if people prayed over their food in school before they ate it. you know why? cos no one was making me do it. it's your choice how you read into things like that.
I don't give a fuck either if people pray on their own time. But what if the public school required you to pray over your food and you didn't want to? That's why it's a problem to mention God in the pledge of allegiance in a venue that is publicly funded. It's a requirement, not an option as it is with praying over food.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

	welfy 2005-10-12 05:13 am UTC (link)
	You say it's "discrimination" and while I do see that the situation made you uncomfortable, I don't see how she was discriminating you. She merely asked you if you believed in Jesus. You said no, and then she gave her opinion of natural disasters. Just being a devil's advocate. :^P (Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

doranosaurus
2005-10-12 05:41 am UTC (link)

You're right, she wasn't in a position to discriminate since she was not my superior, but if she were, it could have led to discrimination. In other words, my answer as to religion could have influenced the superior in some way relating to my job.

It didn't make me uncomfortable so much as just sort of surprised me. It's just something you are not supposed to talk about in the workplace. At least not around here.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

doranosaurus
2005-10-12 04:17 am UTC (link)

but doesn't it get tiring being mad or upset about everything? it must be exhausting being you.
I rarely get mad or upset. In fact, I hold in my emotions and it would do me good to express myself more. Yes, it's very exhausting being me. My body reacts to stimuli by flooding me with stress hormones that tire me out more rapidly than a lot of people. It has limited my success in school, in social settings and at work. It significantly negatively affects my income, relationships, and satisfaction in life.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

	Freaks? longwalkhome 2005-10-11 08:59 pm UTC (link)
	So everyone you feel comfortable with is a freak, eh? Madd Dawg, you just made a powerful enemy. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	Re: Freaks? doranosaurus 2005-10-12 03:21 am UTC (link)
	Heheh, yeah ummm, I did think of that as I was writing it -- the danger that folks I feel comfortable with would infer they were freaks based on my comment. I actually considered the inaccuracy of the comment based on you as one person who does not fit the model. I am comfortable around you and you're not a freak; at least not in a bad way. :-) (Reply to this) (Parent)

	bonanzajelybean 2005-10-11 11:49 pm UTC (link)
	uccchhhgghghg. i would have flipped out at the jesus girl. and don't worry about the non-recognition thing, if you smiled that's all that counts. i promise! (Reply to this) (Thread)

	doranosaurus 2005-10-12 03:16 am UTC (link)
	Heheh, at least I didn't freak out! I was just taken aback, it being a workplace and all. Coincidentally, today (her comment was yesterday) we had two hours of "diversity" training explaining that you should not assume things or discriminate based on religion among other things. I hope she got the message. (Reply to this) (Parent)

arohanui
2005-10-12 07:33 am UTC (link)

I second that: it would have weirded me out too, especially if I was feeling anxious anyway because I'd just started a new job.

It's funny, I always think of myself as totally socially inept, until I hear about things like your workmate's question. It's kinda reassuring, in a pathetic sort way, like, "at least I know enough not to do that". But maybe I wouldn't have when I was eighteen. I did infer she was youmg.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

	doranosaurus 2005-10-13 01:53 am UTC (link)
	"at least I know enough not to do that" Yeah, I felt that too. Yeah, she was young and inexperienced. I pretty sure she will learn how to be more subtle in time. (Reply to this) (Parent)

(39 comments) - (Post a new comment)

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