Current mood:

Funny

Fishy Phone Call Equals Grounds for Bush Impeachment
When someone calls my land line it's always something "fishy". Anyone who knows me calls me on my cellphone since my land line is always busy due to my chronic internet dependency. The only time the line is not busy is when I'm lying in bed, thus my horizontal position precludes internet use.

Today I was rousted from blissful slumber by a call to my land line that made my spidey-sense tingle. A man with a voice like a bounty hunter, or at least a heavy drinker, named Wayne Jeffries, asked if this was the [my last name] residence. I said yes. He asked if I would write a note for someone who lives at an address directly across the street with his phone #360-885-2319 on it, and tape the note onto her door. He said the person's phone # was not working and wanted her to call him. I asked what it was regarding or what his relationship with her was and he said, "It's just a personal call."

Possibly this could be a perfectly innocent request but somehow it seems very odd. So I did what any cough*paranoid*cough normal person would do and did some internet snooping! It turns out I WAS RIGHT!

A search for the phone #360-885-2319 turned up this link which describes the dishonest and possibly illegal debt collection practices of Fidelity Collection Service. I never knew my neighbor but I know the house has been vacant for about two months and it's being remodelled so that kind of gets me off the hook anyway. But what would you have done? If she were living there, would you still leave the note on the door? Or would you call back Wayne Jeffries of the Fidelity Collection Service and tell him you found out about their questionable practices and would not be an accessory to the commission such an endeavor?

What's the connection to impeachment? It's as clear as day: According to the website, Fidelity Collection Service is a contractee of Qwest Dex (the telephone directory), which is in turn owned by The Carlyle Group, which, it is well-known, is a private investment consortium whose members include George Bush Senior and his cronies. When Bush Senior dies, G.W. Bush--our current President--will inherit some of the ill-gotten gains from The Carlyle Group. Therefore G.W. Bush is personally responsible for rudely rousting me from my warm bed and demanding that I harass my neighbor (who is Black, by the way, proving that George Bush does not care about Black people!) with illegal bill collection practices! Clearly grounds for impeachment!!!!! BLLAAAAARRGGGG!!!!